The Dark Side of the Light Chasers – Debbie Ford

“Most of us set out on the path to personal growth because at some point the burden of our pain becomes too much to bear.  The Dark Side of the Light Chasers  is about unmasking that aspect of ourselves which destroys our relationships, kills our spirit, and keeps us from fulfilling our dreams.  It is what the psychologist Carl Jung called the shadow.  It contains all the parts of ourselves that we have tried to hide or deny.  It contains those dark aspects that we believe are not acceptable to our family, friends, and most importantly, ourselves.  The dark side is stuffed deeply within our consciousness, hidden from ourselves and others.  The message we get from this hidden place is simple:  there is something wrong with me.  I’m not okay.  I’m not lovable.  I’m not deserving.  I’m not worthy.

“Many of us believe these messages.  We believe that if we look closely enough at what lies deep within us, we will find something horrible.  We resist looking long and hard for fear of discovering someone we can’t live with.  We fear ourselves.  We fear every thought and feeling we have ever repressed.  Many of us are so disconnected from this fear we can only see it by reflection.  We project it onto the world, onto our families and friends, and onto strangers.  Our fear is so deep that the only way we can deal with it is either to hide or deny it.  We become great imposters who fool ourselves and others.  We become so good at this we actually forget that we are wearing masks to hide our authentic selves.  We believe we are the persons we see in the mirror.  We believe we are our bodies and our minds.  Even after years of failed relationships, careers, diets, and dreams, we continue to suppress these disturbing internal messages.  We tell ourselves we’re okay and that things will get better.  We put blinders over our eyes and plugs in our ears to keep the internal stories we create alive.  I’m not okay. I’m not lovable.  I’m not deserving.  I’m not worthy.

Instead of trying to suppress our shadows, we need to unconceal, own and embrace the very things we are most afraid of facing.

By “own”, I mean acknowledge that a quality belongs to you. “It is the shadow that holds the clues,” says the spiritual teacher and author Lazaris.  “The shadow also holds the secret of change, change that can affect you on a cellular level, change that can affect your very DNA.”  Our shadows hold the essence of who we are.  They hold our most treasured gifts.  By facing these aspects of ourselves, we become free to experience our glorious totality:  the good and the bad, the dark and the light.  It is by embracing all of who we are that we earn the freedom to choose what we do in this world.  As long as we keep hiding, masquerading, and projecting wat is inside us, we have no freedom to be and no freedom to choose.

Our shadows exist to teach us, guide us, and give us the blessing of our entire selves.  They are resources for us to expose and explore.  The feelings that we have suppressed are desperate to be integrated into ourselves.  They are only harmful when they are repressed:  then they can pop up at the least opportune times.  Their sneak attacks will handicap you in the areas of your life that mean the most.

Your life will be transformed when you make peace with your shadow.  The caterpillar will become a breathtakingly beautiful butterfly.  You will no longer have to pretend to be someone you,re not.  You will no longer have to prove you’re good enough.  When you embrece your shadow you will finally revel in all the glory of your true self.  Then you will have the freedom to create the life you have always desired

Every human being is born with a healthy emotional system.  We love and accept ourselves when we are born.  We don’t make judgments about which parts of ourselves are good and which parts are bad.  We dwell in the fullness of our being, living in the moment, and expressing ourselves freely.  As we grow older, we begin to learn from the people around us.  They tell us how to act, when to eat, when to sleep, and we begin to make distinctions.  We learn which behaviors bring us acceptance and which bring us rejection.   We learn to trust the people around us or to fear the people around us.  We learn consistency or inconsistency.  We learn which qualities are acceptable in our environment and which are not.  All of this distracts us from living in the moment and keeps us from expressing ourselves freely.

We need to revisit the experience of our innocence that allows us to accept all of who we are at every moment.  This is where we need to be in order to have a healthy, happy, complete human existence.  This is the path.  In Neale Donal Walsch’s book Conversations with God, God says:  Perfect love is to feeling, what white is to color.  Many think that white is the absence of color.  It is not.  It is the inclusion of all color.  White is every other color that exists,  combined.  So, too, is love not the absence of emotion (hatred, anger, lust, jealousy, covertness), but the summation of all feeling?  It is the sum total.  The aggregate amount.  The everything.

Love is inclusive:  it accepts the full range of human emotion – the emotions we hide, the emotions we fear.  Jung  once said, “I,d rather be whole than good.”  How many of us have sold ourselves out in order to be good, to be liked, to be accepted?

We all contain the imprint of the entire universe within ourselves.  As Deepak Chopra puts it, “We are not in the world, but the world is within us.”  Each of us possess every existing human quality.  There is nothing we can see of conceive that we are not, and the purpose of our journey is to restore ourselves to this wholeness.”